Parenting Contents Archive

Question for people who are choosing to parent differently than they were parented

My parents spanked me and my sister, and made a number of other parenting choices that I have chosen not to continue. I try to take an approach with no physical discipline and less punishment and shaming in general. But when my kids misbehave, my instincts scream at me that I should punish them. I refrain from doing so, but the thought is definitely there. And then when I calm down, the second guessing begins. If they’re not as well behaved as I remember being, is it because I’m doing something wrong? (And I know that “how well behaved I remember being” and “how well behaved I was” are not the same thing.) Anybody else deal with this kind of thing? Any tips?

Trying not to take it personally, y’all...

I’m kind of nervous even posting this because I’m afraid someone’s going to go back through my history and try to make me feel worse... my last 3 or 4 posts here have gotten downvoted to zero or lower within a couple hours. And it’s not like trolls are sending me shitty messages - just a silent but definitive rejection. I’m not looking for a massive outpouring of love and support - my life is pretty great. I read some posts on here from mamas truly struggling and recognize how lucky I am. But every post I see from this sub I upvote - whether or not I read it - because we post here for a sense of support and community. And it just hurts to reach out for some “yeah, I get it” responses and check back and discover that I’m being judged here like I would be anywhere else. I’m not looking for upvotes, but some “yeah, I get its” wouldn’t go unappreciated on a day I’m already feeling blue.

"Mama, I said 'no' and you need to respect my no."

Said to me by my 3yo with her hands on her hips last night when I told her she needed to go potty before bed. I was so proud of her for standing up for herself, so proud of myself for teaching her consent and confidence....and trying not to laugh while at a loss for what to say next 😂 We worked it out and she was able to still go potty before bed and maintain her bodily autonomy lol 😂😂😂

oh so THAT'S what those things are for. via cakejurtis_

Any recommendations for support? This is my dad holding my son. An unexpected and unpredictably rare metabolic disorder took our first born away 52 hours after meeting him. Thought maybe connecting with others that’ve been through similar might be helpful.

Toddler is hitting me, what to do?

My daughter is 20 months old and has entered into a hitting phase. She smacks me (her dad) fairly often, hits her mom but not nearly as much, and has not yet hit her 2 month old sister to date. My issue right now is that I can’t help but crack a smile or a laugh when she hits me and I have no idea why. Maybe because she’s so cute or she gives me a face after she does it that I can’t help but smile at. I try very hard to say no sternly but I am failing half the time, often straying to “don’t hit me” which probably confuses her. Anyone go through this? I don’t know how common it is for a toddler to go through a phase like this but any advice on how you handled it would be appreciated. Thanks parents

Are siblings really not as close once they’re 4+ years apart?

Hi all, because my family is currently in the process of immigrating to another country, my husband and I decided to hold off on having another child until we are settled in our new life. Our daughter just turned 2. I’m constantly being told that if there’s a 4+ year age gap between siblings they won’t be as close. In your experience, is this true? Does gender play a role (for example brother-sister isn’t as close as sister-sister or brother-brother)? Thank you!

Has anyone here given up a child?

I have a 3 year old who I am the only parent to. I often consider giving my child up for adoption because I just feel like I can’t meet her emotional needs. There are often times that I feel no attachment to her. I just don’t want to be a mom and it isn’t fair to her. What would the process be like to give up a child this age? Also if you’ve done this at a later age, what was the backlash like from friends and family? I feel like if I told my family I wanted to give her up, one of them would take her, but I don’t want them to have that burden, as they are all older and work all the time. Any advice?

Bitch of a day

Welp, had a shit time getting the infant down last night, 5 hours of broken sleep, up at 6am cuz boobies, couldnt sleep more since baby wasnt having it. Dog peed in the kitchen overnight, another dog shit in the kitchen since husband is lazy about taking care of them. I stepped in said shit because it was just falling out of the dog. Thank god the 2yo stayed put and didnt try to help clean that mess. Its just been a shit day. Im unhappy with my job, husband is between jobs, i have no direction in life and am fucking depressed today. I think all in all, i need a goddamn nap.

If you misplaced your child could you describe them?

I can't. I'm bad enough with faces that I've failed to recognise my wife on more than one occasion, the most recently in our kitchen. For those of you who can recognise people, could you describe your child well enough that people could find them. I take photos so I have a plan. But my description would be Toddler, 92 cm tall, 12.7 Kg, blondish short hair, brown eyes, sticky, chubby cheeks, monobrow, probably climbing something. It's not a great description.

I’m a new dad and I need help

So I know this may sound really dumb, but I work pretty much all the time and my wife just started going to work for one day per week. On this one day, I stay home with our newborn/infant (7 weeks) and I cannot get him to stop crying. I make sure his diaper is changed, I feed him every two hours, and I hold him most of the time. I need to know all of your tips for getting him to stop crying. I’m losing my sanity and I need help.

Poop problem

So I have a little problem with my 3 year old daughter and that problem is poop. She is absolutely afraid of poop. She will not go on the potty but in her pants instead, and that still freaks her out. When I remove her soiled pants, she whimpers and is completely freaked out. I try explaining to her that it's normal to poop and everybody does it. And that if she doesn't like to be changed, she can go on the potty just like she does when she pees. I've also tried rewards and she still won't go, she'll throw a big fit if I try and place her on the potty to do number 2. Im at a loss of what to do. I may know a reason why she is afraid. Since she was an infant, she's had constipation issues and it was painful for her. I am giving her daily miralax to help so no worries there. So have any of you parents ever experienced this? What can I do?

"Kids'" music?

I love music, and we play music often throughout the day as well as podcasts and the news (avoiding violent content and generally avoiding profanity). My almost-10-month old is home all day, every day. Here's something I've wondered for a while: do kids really need "kids'" music? I babysat for years as a high school and college kid, so I am extremely well versed in Barney, Disney, Blue's Clues, etc. and know all too well how tiresome the songs are to non-little-kids... and also how much they love them. My daughter loves being read to (even if she probably doesn't "get" much just yet), and I'm happy to read to her. If she isn't reading, she's playing with her simple toys or working on crawling and walking while babbling. I don't think she's missing anything by my skipping "Baby Shark" for the moment... Is she?

My girls.

Any tips on potty training?

We're about 3 days into potty training our 2 and a half year old, so far so good, had one accident when we first started, since then I've had multiple wees and one big poop all no issue. He's been going around pantless for a few days and it's working and rewarding him with a choice of the sweet jar when he goes, only downside now is when we put him in his chair to eat, if he doesn't want to he just says he needs to go to the potty. Because he hadn't eaten anything other than sweets in nearly 2 days I resorted to putting a nappy on just for food so he couldn't use potty as an excuse to not eat but I took it off again after. Any idea what my next step is, was thinking about putting trousers in him tomorrow (no pants) but should I hold out a little longer, I'm just looking for some advice and a path to go to next. Thanks.