Parenting Contents Archive

Officially hit my lowest point as a new parent.

My baby has had an inconsolable morning. I put her in the carrier and wear her for soothing. It takes 30 minutes of pacing the kitchen and two cups of coffee. She plops her head down on my chest- out! FINALLY. Oh shit. Literally. Yes. I have to shit. I would try to say something more polite like, "I had to run to the restroom", but last night we went to a new taco spot and I ate a burrito the size of my forearm, so this can go by no other name than a shit. Could I gently take her out of the carrier, put her down successfully without waking, and make it to the toilet in time? No, friends, I could not. I sat on the toilet and relieved myself. It took so long I felt like a dad (I'm a mom). Baby is still asleep in the carrier on my chest. Ok. Everyone is ok. I looked down and the carrier strap had fallen into the toilet when I sat. Yes. It is what you think. Happy Monday!

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MY HUSBAND IS CRUSHING IT RIGHT NOW

I am eavesdropping on my husband talking to his mom right now and he is hitting her with the facts on co sleeping, swaddling, and statistics on safe sleep. She is trying to tell him that swaddling stunts their growth and we should sleep with our infant in bed to cuddle and bond, and that he will get lonely in the bassinet and cold without blankets. (We let him nap on our chest but only while we are awake) He is correcting her and explaining survivor mentality & how these statistics and info weren’t available to her when she had babies. She also tried to say that swaddling is new and no one ever did it before - he also corrected her and said it was a fad to not swaddle, and there has been swaddling evidence for hundreds of years prior. So proud!

Showering with opposite gender kids

I have 2 daughters. Older one's 5. Obviously we shower wo any underwear. Wife has been suggesting that i wear an underwear while showering her or with her. Daughter herself doesn't care. She has commented that your thing wobbles when you vigorously shampoo my hair, and understands that boys have it different from girls. But otherwise is non chalant about it. Otherwise she is becoming progressively independent about washing her face and body, but if i leave her, she would rather play with water than shower. How do you handle showering with opposite gender kids? Do you wear underwear? And at what age do you stop?

Weird guilt about circumcision

So I just had my third baby, first boy this past summer. As soon as we found out he was a boy my mind was already made up that we would not be circumcising him. At birth he was diagnosed with hypospadias and chordee, which means that his urethra wasn't at the tip of the penis like it should be but instead on the underside below the head, his foreskin was only partially formed, and he had a slight bend to his penis. He had surgery to correct all of this on Friday which included a circumcision because 1. They used the foreskin as a skin graft to do the repair. and 2. The foreskin was only partially formed anyways so he had a "cobra hood" situation going on. Now every time I change his diaper and he his swollen, red, and bruised penis I feel so terrible that I couldn't keep him in tact like I had intended. Logically I know that this is better for him long-term and it's not like I had control over him being born with hypospadias, but I can't shake this guilt for some reason. 😥

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Do my parents need power of attorney in case of emergency when tending my kids?

My wife and I are planning a long-distance trip later this year, just the two of us. My parents have already agreed to come to our place to watch the kids (ages 13, 9, and almost 5). We'll leave them plenty of instructions and the kids' insurance cards, just in case, for the couple of days when we will not have phone or internet service. My dad says he needs a notarized power of attorney document to get medical care for the kids in the unlikely event that he needs to take one of them to a doctor or a hospital. Is this true? Will hospitals refuse to treat a child without a parent or legal guardian present?

Stay at home mom

my daughter is almost 3 months old and I’m a stay at home mom. It wouldn’t make sense for me to send her to day care since I get paid crap at my job plus I’m not a fan of daycare since I used to work at them. i’m struggling trying to find things to do with her. There’s only so many times I can put her on her musical piano mat and read the same books and do tummy time. I’m too anxious to take her out yet (I have bad anxiety and on medication and talking to a therapist about it) But I just don’t understand what to do to keep her entertained for eight hours a day when she’s not napping I feel burnt out

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Maybe he Didn't grow up around dishwashers & Laundry?

We moved in June. It has been 7 months. My back was really bad so I asked my husband to fill the dryer vent box. It involves bending over, and adding water to a small box on the floor near the base of the dryer - where the dryer vent goes. (note: vent boxes are illegal in most states as a fire hazard, but not where we live. they are safe if you keep them full, but running the dryer without water in the vent box = potential fire). He asked me how to do it. We've been here SEVEN MONTHS and he doesn't know how run the dryer. The next day - he gets all pissy because the dishes in the dishwasher aren't clean - but he "ran it." And I ask - did you hold the button for 3 seconds? He says "Huh?" Did you check when you closed the door that the green light was on (which shows it is runnin).. Again... "Huh?" We've lived here for 7 freaking months months and he doesn't know how to turn the freaking dishwasher on or run the dryer without causing a fire hazard. Seriously, WTF?

When did you first take your baby out in public?

I realize this is a loaded question and everyone likely has a different answer based on need/comfort level. But my husband and I are getting cabin fever and already miss doing basic things together like going grocery shopping and whatnot. So my question is more so geared towards places like the grocery store—not so much things like big gatherings or visiting friends. Baby is only 9 days old so probably won’t be anytime soon and we live in the Midwest so it’s very cold! I’ll be looking forward to taking him on walks once it gets warmer out. I’m just trying to look ahead and would love to hear from you all.

Even toddlers know that rules should be followed but that they can be changed. These two capacities, capacities for love and law, for caring about others and following the rules, allow our characteristically human combination of moral depth and flexibility. -@alisongopnik

Trying to avoid being an "emotionally immature parent"

As an adult I have really struggled with voicing my needs. To the point that I have gone years without voicing my needs to my husband. I recently learned that this behavior could be due to being raised by [emotionally immature parents](https://memod.com/lynlovesbooks/the-four-types-of-emotionally-immature-parents-5919) so I always felt like I had to fend for myself and like my feelings were never all that important. As a parent myself now, I'm trying hard to raise my kids better than I was raised. I'm trying to emulate and teach them empathy, vulnerability, emotional honesty and emotional closeness. I'm curious if anyone else has struggled in this area? How are you raising emotionally mature children? Is this on your radar?

When did you start solids?

LO is a few days over five months. I have read you should wait until at least six months and when they can kind of sit. But she is grabbing at everything I eat. She is ultra interested. She can't sit up very well supported yet though. But I've also read it's great to start when they're interested. Hoping to hear from others.