Parenting Contents Archive

Husband named our children as beneficiaries in his 401k

Stay at home mom here. Educated, yet putting any sort of career on hold while I stay at home with our 4 very young children. Husband told me recently that our children were listed on his 401k in case he died. I’m a bit surprised by this and a little hurt as I strive and work very hard to help save and be frugal just so he can max out his retirement and Roth IRA. It’s not that I don’t want my children to receive anything, but as his second half, I would assume I would be listed, and of course if I died the kids are next in line. Thoughts?

Do you think this desensitized kids to violence?

TW if anybody here is uncomfortable hearing about animal butchering. When i was a young kid (under 12 or 13)my parents had me directly help with hunting/ butchering/putting down animals. I totally understand the view that you should know where your food is actually coming from, but I am unsure as to whether this was a harmful thing for a kid so young to witness and be made to participate it. Im american & and my family culture was kind of violent growing up so I feel like I cannot accurately gauge this but I know I feel uncomfortable w/ the thought of my 2 kids doing this and have told my parents I don't want them participating in any of that on visits. My husband disagrees w/ me but understands where I'm coming from. Most parenting groups have shut this question right down

The hunt for daycare...what the hell, am I right?

The prices are insane, and thats even if you don't have to be on a waitlist for months. AND I don't even want to send her away! But I have to go back to stupid work to make a stupid living and afford my stupid bills and stupid food.

Poll: Would you let this person around your baby? *Content warning: abuse*

I feel ridiculous even asking/posting this, but I’m so tired of family members treating me like I’m dramatic that I thought I’d ask the masses. I will keep it short. We have a new baby and my husband and I have an ongoing conflict with regards to his brother. His older brother (36) has been caught twice with child porn, once at 17 and again at 21. I have no other details as to how much or the age of the victims, but in my mind that doesn’t really matter because it’s still absolutely reprehensible. Husband had a rough childhood and is therefore close with his brother and doesn’t want to damage their relationship. So Reddit, what level of contact if any would you want this person having with your child? [View Poll](https://www.reddit.com/poll/11zrpdy)

"She won't learn to sleep with sound if you don't blast music etc etc"

Look I don't care. I'm so tired of people telling me I NEED to vacuum or blast music or blast the TV if I want my baby to learn to sleep through it. Respectfully, I will continue about my day. Maybe do laundry, maybe run the dishwasher. I keep the TV at a NORMAL volume. I sleep with the TV on night at volume '3'. My baby sleeps FINE. I'm not going to keep her in a constant stimulated environment to make MY life "easier". Nap time is quiet peaceful time. Sorry I just needed to rant because I'm tired of hearing the same old argument on a daily basis.

What do you think of male workers in nurseries?

We recently refused to put our toddler girl in a nursery because we found out there’s a male working there and changing the toddlers. We’re Muslims and this would be religiously forbidden for us but I want to ask about your secular opinions.. This is going to be controversial but hear me out without judgement please. Shouldn’t we be giving these young children the statistically safest option as most predators are male? I know there are female predators too but that’s nowhere near as likely. We give adult women the chance to pick the gender of their gynaecologist and even midwife and the nursery workers are just as intimate. So why don’t we give kids the least riskiest option?

Positional asphyxiation - car seat vs stroller seat

Why is there a greater risk of positional asphyxiation in a car seat versus a stroller seat? This seems to be the case when I look it up, but I’m having a hard time seeing the difference. My infant car seat actually seems to have a safer angle than some of my stroller seat angle settings, in terms of head and neck position. Why is it ok to let your baby fall asleep for a long walk in a stroller but not a long car ride?

How much is reasonable for a birthday party?

Our oldest is turning 10. She wants to have a birthday party with many of her friends at a skating club. I'm trying to figure out a good budget starting point, since the price tag will be like 25$ a head. I thought that 10 kids ($250) would be more than reasonable, but I may be aiming on the lower end of costs. My own childhood birthdays were terrific, but usually at my house with homemade food and treats so I may be a bit ignorant of costs. We are careful with our money but could certianly cover that amount. I'm frugal but I don't want to be ridiculous on either end of price. So if you don't mind me asking, what is a good budget to spend on a party? Anyone care to share their own experience.

Has anybody been able to get their toddler to sleep in their own bed through the night?

My wife and I have one 3 year old daughter. And our daughter likes to come to our bed. She has no problem going to sleep in her own bed after her night time routine, but without fail she will wake up some time between 11pm - 1am she’ll wake up and come to our room and want to sleep in our bed. We’ve tried just putting her back to sleep in her bed and that might work for an hour or two but she’ll wake back up and come back to our room. Now, she will on occasion sleep the entire night in her room but these nights are few and far between. Has anybody else dealt with this? What did you do?

In response to middle schoolers not progressing with their reading skills to keep up with a typical reading load, Linda Brock's district created a summer invitational for their students who showed gaps in their foundational reading knowledge. @edutopia https://t.co/s4fBDC6TNt

For many American families, taking time off after the birth of a baby is a luxury that's out of reach. Experts share how to afford that time to nurture a newborn and yourself. https://t.co/aFwC241A3E

I just want to be a stay at home mom.

Y'all I'm just over working a full time job. Im missing so much of my kid's accomplishments. I would love to homeschool but stuff is so stupidly expensive that we have no choice but to both work. It makes me want to cry honestly. I know I missed out on so much. I don't want to keep missing.

Why do I get into a -- mood when husband comes home early?

I don't know what it is. DH works a govt job. During the pandemic, he was home all the time (but couldn't help out cuz, "work") Now that lockdowns are a thing of the past, it's like he's always home or they send him home early for whatever reason, OR he burns up his leave "just because". Today was the first time he was in the office in a long time, and I was in the groove having the house to myself, doing the chores, settling my youngest.. And they sent him home early cuz the internet was out!!! Ugh! I'm irratated and I shouldn't be. We are married! He lives here!! Lol.

My husband is beyond pissed at me.

So our kids school is offering summer camp scholarships for some kids. I told my husband I was going to apply for 2 of our 3 school aged children. The arguing began. He doesn't understand why I won't apply for all 3 kids. I told him I felt like it would be selfish to apply for all 3 kids. Plus our youngest in school is 6yo and has incontinence issues, so she can only go to half day camps, which we can afford. Next he mentions a certain camp for the 2 older kids and I was shocked because that camp is over $500 per child. I explained to him that I was thinking of the camp they did last year that was $125 per child. So he proceeds to argue with me saying stupid shit like "Well if the school is going to pay for it, why not?" Once again I explained that they have the right to refuse our application, and you can only apply once. What the fuck. I feel like he has an ulgy entitled attitude about it all.

Biking with baby

My LO will be a year early this summer. We are debating which biking carrier option we should go with - trailer, rear bike seat, front bike seat. Does anyone have a preference or have any pros or cons for each option?