Parenting Contents Archive

Should we force our kid to do scouts when she’d rather do gymnastics?

My husband is really into scouts. He was a scout and is currently the den leader for my 8-year-old daughter’s pack. The thing is, my daughter has told me she’s not that into scouts. She has fun on the campouts, but lately she’s much more passionate about gymnastics. Her friends do gymnastics, and she seems to have natural talent and a real passion for it. Her father won’t let her quit scouts, and the gymnastics she wants to do clashes with the scouts. I told her she could trade up, but he seems personally upset by that idea so now I don’t know what to do. I don’t want her to be a quitter or overbooked, but I’m sad for her that pursuing her current interest is clashing so much with her Dad’s expectations. Any advice would be very welcome.

Momma needs clothes

I cleaned out 80% of my closet. LO is 6 months old and I am desperate for clothes. I spent 5 hours shopping yesterday and came home empty handed. I am only 30 but I feel way too old for half the clothes stores have nowadays (or I am 20 years too young for others) and I refuse to spend $200 on a pair of pants. Where are yall getting your clothes post baby?

How much are you saving for you LO's future?

education emergency and more ​ the more we think about it, the more we feel like we are falling short ​ any strategies?

What types of touch are appropriate in front of children?

My husband has had a hard time adjusting to having our son around - he’s very handsy and affectionate with me still and now that our son is 13 months I’ve been uncomfortable for a while with it. But when I google, I don’t really find anything, so I’m wondering - what’s normal? Is it normal/okay to have certain kinds of touch in front of a child and where do you draw the line? I know I get to have my own personal boundaries regardless of what others do, but I grew up in a household where my parents didn’t ever touch each other at all, so I know that I’m probably unaware of what is normal.

Would you let a 4-year-old let watch you play Breath of the Wild?

Naturally, this is an opinionated question. In general, we try to minimize exposure to violence for our 4-year-old. We want to raise her to see kindness and gentleness as the default. We don't expose her to shows/games that glorify "beating up the bad guys" because that's not how we want her to see the world. But we also don't intend to bar her from such games forever, nor do we believe that video games ultimately cause violence. We just want to introduce such things thoughtfully. If we have these goals, at what age do you think it is appropriate to let her watch us play such games? I'll be getting the new Zelda game soon and it would be convenience to be able to play in front of my daughter. I'm open to any input and, ultimately, just need a place to process. Thanks :)

Actually exhausted from crying.

Crying because of someone’s crusty ass son. Some dude that I had a passing Instagram flirtation with decided to message me out of the blue today to tell me “I had until Wednesday”. For what, you ask? The esteemed privilege of what I imagine to be a mediocre to bad lay. He then proceeded to tell me (unprompted) that he’s gone on two dates and it’s going really well. Ok. Good for you. Why are you telling me this? Just to let me know that we can fuck real quick before he makes this relationship more official, but I’m not really the dating type. That comment right there made me feel like an insecure 8th grader again. My entire ass life spent being the chick that’s fine to make out with at a party. Totally fine to call every night and hang out with. But never, ever the girlfriend. I’m still dealing with this shit at 39 and it sucks.

Husband gets to leave and I never do

I’m trying not to be upset. My husband gets to leave and go play soccer. I like that he has hobbies. I’m proud of him. But I get super bitter, emotional and mad because I stay home with the kids and I can’t even watch a show I like. I never have any down time for myself unless I’m in the bath and I have to ask him to watch the kids while I’m in the bath. He told me he would be gone just an hour well it’s going on 4. He has zero communication when he goes out and he thinks by getting supper I don’t have to cook that I should be happy but it’s the food he’s been wanting to eat not me. I just feel so aggravated towards him. He never understands. We have a three month old and a two year old. I’m exclusively breastfeeding. I work from home I do all the things and never get much for myself if ever. And he gets to leave every week and have time to himself doing what he loves. I never have that time. Ever.

It gets better

My baby is almost 6 months. I feel that we are thriving! No she doesn’t sleep thru the night. Yes she is teething and loves to bite me with her new teeth. But I can say I absolutely love being her mom. I didn’t feel a big connection to her when she was first born (I had a c section). And since we’ve had a lot of rough nights and days. Lots of PPD/PPA. But now I can say it absolutely gets better and I hope this reaches someone who is in the trenches with their newborn. She is just so fun. She laughs and smiles and flaps her arms when she’s excited. She’s super curious. Waay too curious. Rolls everywhere. Farts when she sneezes (I think it’s really funny). It DOES get better!

The willful ignorance is BAFFLING.

Anybody else have a partner whose favorite hobby is criticizing you, then they are butthurt when your sex life sucks because, well, constant criticism? Oh also in this situation you do SO MUCH that goes unappreciated, overlooked, undermined, taken for granted, because it involves childcare and general household management? And maybe also you work 60+ hours a week and are the breadwinner by more than triple and your mortgage depends on you keeping your job? AND HE CRITICIZES CONSTANTLY AND POUTS WHEN YOU HAVE NO DESIRE TO BE SEXUAL WHATSOEVER?!!? I would love to trade brains for one day just so I can understand how this is possible.

Up to here with night wetting

My twelve year old has yet to stay dry at night. It's not her fault but I'm so exhausted with it. She's been seeing a urologist, nothing is "wrong". We've tried two different medicines so far and are following the urologist's advice but nothing has helped yet. I just went to take her laundry out of the washer to find that a pull up made it in and exploded everywhere. A gigantic mess. Now I'm trying to figure out how to clean it out of my brand new washer. I made a huge mess on my freshly swept and mopped floors. I'm so annoyed that I have to deal with these kind of messes with a kid her age and then I feel bad because she doesn't want to be night wetting either. Ugh

I fucking hate my situation and myself for putting myself here

I thought it’d be a great idea to have a baby with a man child who is oblivious to his own mental illness and problems. I’m so depressed , sad, defeated. I’m tired of feeling crazy. I’m tired of being told that it’s the “law of nature” that our baby needs me more than he needs him. I’m tired of being told I shouldn’t have been a mom if I was going to hate it / not want to do it….. ALL BECAUSE I WANT SOME FUCKING HELP. I’m tired of being told I’m “out of my mind” any time I point out everything I do and what he doesn’t do. I just feel bad about myself and crazy.

50/50 custody and vaccines

Hi all, Just wondering if anyone has dealt with vaccines and 50/50 joint legal and physical custody. This is in Ohio. Child has had scheduled vaccines until now. Child is five years old and one parent is now refusing vaccines. She has a philosophical disagreement with them. If this goes to the court, does anyone have any experience of what the likely outcome will be? Will the parent who is against the vaccines usually win medical decision making rights? The parent who is against vaccines is the mother.

Pelvic Floor Physical Therapy

Hi all, I just wanted to share because I have two children (9 yo and 7 months) and I just started pelvic floor physical therapy. I thought I was “normal”, just the occasional leak when sneezing or coughing hard. But I decided to go for an evaluation after my son was born since I read these issues are common but not normal. It turned out I have bad weakness of my pelvic floor with a strength score of 1/5. I am slowly rebuilding and go once a week. Learning to reuse the muscles require professional guidance and patience. A physical therapist will help you safely rebuild pelvic floor strength and avoid any exercises that could risk worsening diastasis recti or a vaginal prolapse. I am so glad I went, I didn’t realize I was as weak as I am and that fixing this now will help prevent worse issues down the line. Just my experience and I highly recommend it to anyone that is like me and brushed off these kinds of issues.

Son wants to invite entire class to birthday party at Trampoline Park

I'm hosting a party at our local trampoline park in a week, and my son wants to invite his entire class. Unfortunately I only get 10 jump passes in the package and each extra pass is $25, so I'm not sure how to approach this. I simply can't afford to pay for his entire class. Is there a polite way to word the invitation to extend the invite to all, but to disclose we can't cover every child's jump admission, and but also to come without the expectation of bringing a gift? I told him to make a list of the kids he really wants to invite, but that's still 15. I feel like it's kinder to just invite everyone.

Visitors and possessive feelings

Am I crazy? Ever since becoming a mom I have these possessive feelings over my newborn (3 weeks old). The only visitors I’ve had is our parents and even that felt like it was pushing it. Baby is so new and ultimately just want to keep her healthy, but also as a ftm I’m still learning all about her and want the time for myself, selfishly. The pediatrician recommended limiting guests until 6 weeks of age but even the thought of other people outside of my husband holding her makes my skin crawl. Is this normal? Did it eventually subside for anyone who has felt the same?